Americans celebrating after the announcement of Osama bin Laden’s death.

I can’t be the only one who finds this disturbing.

The first video is just an example of what I remember seeing in 2001. I remember how appalled I was to see people celebrating such an abhorrent act of violence.

To see Americans celebrating the death of bin Laden in this way is in turns understandable, and frightening.

The death of a man who so represents that loss of innocence on September 11, 2001 must, in some ways be a catharsis for a country whose character has changed so much in the last ten years. For every inconvenience to an international traveler, for every government intrusion justified as “necessary” for homeland security, and for every person who died because of the plans masterminded by this man, this must feel like a moment of justification.

Then there’s the sense of America having achieved a goal set a decade ago, and this must feel like vindication. Like vengeance. And there’s the rub. At what cost will this vengeance come?

To a Muslim seeing the videos of Americans chanting in the streets, I’m not sure they’ll see the catharsis of a country that’s been held hostage by the schemes of a fundamentalist extremist.

They’ll see Americans celebrating the death of a Muslim, fulfilling the stereotypes promoted by the fundamentalist extremists like bin Laden and al Qaeda. Just as a few weeks ago, when a fundamentalist “pastor” burned a Qu’ran, they didn’t didn’t see an extremist, they saw an American burning their holy book, an act that cost 22 people their lives in violent retribution.

I fear for the effect that this could have on American aid workers and missionaries in predominantly Muslim countries – and what the news reports will bring over the coming weeks.

One of the steps I’ve taken towards my goals this year is to track them using a piece of software on my phone called The Habit Factor. The theory is that one of the elements that makes up achieving a goal is that small habits over time add up to big results, but if you don’t track the small habits, they’ll get away from you. I review the list of habits I’ve set a couple of times a day, and I’ve been doing this for a week. So far, it seems to be working.

Looking back, it seems to me that I’ve had major struggles in the past with any kinds of goals in part because I haven’t written them down, and that I’ve tried to eat the elephant in a couple of big bites. Now I’m taking tiny bites, but I’m taking them regularly. I’m also allowing myself permission to allow things to take time, and I’ve also given myself permission to fail sometimes. I’ve not allowed myself these simple things before.

A wise man pointed out to me last week that the past is past, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. In 2010, I’m going to practice leaving the past behind.

I’m also trying to blog more… and I’ve given up caffeine.

I’m testing a little theory. I’ve been consuming considerable amounts of caffeine daily since I was in my early teens. I was retroactively diagnosed as suffering from depression very early in my adult life (with good reason). I wonder whether the two may be connected. I have no proof, but I want to see if reducing my caffeine intake affects my moods. I’ve switched to tea, and chai as replacements, vs my daily espressos and plunger coffees (and don’t start on the urban myth that there’s more caffeine in tea than coffee – proof, yo!).

And now I’m off to watch movie #1 of 52 – Jaws