So I left the church; maybe not physically, but intellectually. I still showed up on Sundays, and to some other events, but mostly I was just warming a seat. The reasons are actually more complicated than this, but this was a big chunk of the why. I travelled along like this for several years, questions still burning within me, occasionally stumbling across a book or a website that encouraged me that being a Christian wasn’t an either/or decision between my intellect and my faith, and that maybe it was OK to have and ask questions.

During this time I stumbled across the blog of Michael Spencer, “The Internet Monk“. My initial response was to shy away from anyone calling themselves a monk (there were a LOT of Chick tracts in my past). I spent time reading Michael’s posts; I was encouraged by someone who was both answering and asking difficult questions; someone who hadn’t separated his intellect and his faith. He didn’t have all the answers, and he didn’t claim to. Michael called it how he saw it, and often copped flak for it.

In Michael I felt that I’d found a kindred spirit, and his writing encouraged me to keep going, and not give up on my faith. His writing was a refuge from the voices in my past telling me to shut up and stop asking questions. His love for Jesus shone through his writing, and inspired me.

As the voices of “religious right” become increasingly strident, and so much of the church seems determined to crush anyone and everyone whose theology doesn’t quite line up they way they believe it should, Michael’s voice was a lighthouse to someone being smashed on the rocks of religion by the waves of the self-righteous.

After a short battle with cancer, today his voice was silenced.

I believe, as did he, that he’s gone to somewhere where the pain of his cancer is no more, and where all tears are wiped away. Tonight I mourn for his wife Denise, his children Clay and Noel and their families, and for those of us who are left behind.

You will be missed, Michael.

This year I plan to do the unthinkable, and set a list of goals for myself.

I plan to do a series of things each week, and each month, and next year.

52 Things

52 Meals: I plan to cook 52 new meals/recipes for my family. Recipes I’ve never cooked before. I plan to crack open the pile of recipe books we’ve collected, but I’m looking for suggestions.

52 Songs: I want to find a new good song each week to add to my collection.

52 Movies: My friends constantly reference movies I’ve never seen; the list of the movies that I should have seen and haven’t is downright embarrassing.

52 Books: I plan to read (and possibly review) 52 books this year. I will be re-reading some books, and reading some new ones.

52 Kilos: I want to lose 52 kilos this year. 1Kg a week on average. I’ve let things slide over the past few months, and I want to complete what I started.

52 Strips: I used to publish a comic strip regularly. I want to resurrect that strip this year. I’m not sure whether it’s going to be a reboot, or a continuation, but I have a week to make the decision and get started. This one is a maybe.

12 Things

12 Lives: I want to do something positive that affects or makes a difference in the lives of others once a month for the next twelve months. Whether it’s a donation of money, or time, or blood, I want to do something specific.

12 Meals: I plan to open my house to others at least 12 times over the next year to break bread and be a person. My natural instincts are insularity and withdrawal.

12 Experiences: I want to experience 12 new things over the next year. I plan to blog about these experiences.

12 Personal Goals: I plan to set 12 goals for myself to achieve that I won’t blog about, but do plan to have a couple of close friends keep me accountable on.

Now, there will probably be some overlap, and it may not necessarily be that 52 == 1 per week, but I want to look back and see a list of goals that I’ve achieved.

I’m tired of my relentless cynicism, and that of some of the people I’ve listened to this past year. I look back over the last year, and I’m not very happy with what I see.

Truth be told, I know that this is going to be a challenge of the highest order. I’m open to suggestions for things to try, things to cook and listen to, things to watch and things to do around Melbourne. In particular, places I might be able to volunteer and make a difference.

A little bit of encouragement and support wouldn’t go astray either

I want to change my life, and I want to make a difference to others. That’s my goal for 2010.

What’s yours?

David was making a point, but if I’m no longer under law, but justified by faith (Gal 3:23-25), what use is it to me to meditate on the law? 

Fast forward a few hours, and I’m cleaning the bathroom, a little frustrated with a member of my family for the state it was left in (no names). As I cleaned, I was thinking about how best to deal with this person. This lead to me considering what the most Christ-like response would be, and whether that response should just be an attitude of servanthood. After all, I’ve left plenty of mess behind for others to clean up.

And then it hit me. I was meditating on the best way to be Christlike, and in that process found my attitude changed. So, I hope that makes sense.

However, I still need to carry through with it instead of just thinking about it. That’s just a little bit harder

14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.  

This is Jesus saying that we are to be doing good works, and visibly. Somehow, I don’t think filling a pew on a Sunday quite meets the requirements. To me, this ties in with “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, that you have love one for another” and “Love your neighbour as yourself”.

This is what was on Jesus’ heart – love. I would interpret this to mean that I should be doing good works, out of love, not to impress others.Then this arrow pierces my heart. What visible “good works” have I done? Am I doing? Can I do? There is more to think about, and critically, something to do.

Pax.

Pax